Just Write
lunes, 12 de septiembre de 2011
Why Should I
After further reading Slaughterhouse-Five I started to understand more, not only of the author but as well as the story. One interesting point I read in this book was the part where Kurt visited his friend O'Hare to share and remember stories of the war, his wife Mary was pretty upset by something. After understanding her for being upset, I would be also be mad and feeling cheated on. Why should someone pay for someone else's actions? This brings me back to many childhood memories. Many occasions have I been blamed for an incident that I didn't do just like when my sister broke an expensive vase and blamed it on me having me grounded for a month without my precious Game Cube. Of course this is not as bad as going to a war which you technically didn't start but the unfairness is pretty much the same.
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Manuel,
ResponderEliminarI have to admit I found your blog to be quite interesting. I liked the fact that it was quite personal and you related it to your personal life. I myself, being the eldest of three, have also been in your situation so I completely understand how you feel. Be a little more careful next time with the grammar, but besides that I think you are doing just fine.
Grammatical Corrections:
1. I would delete the "of" before Slaughterhouse-Five from the first sentence.
2. Capitalize Five in "Slaughterhouse-five"
3. Rephrase "came by to his friend"
4. Turn "his wife Mary was pretty..." into an independent sentence
5. "Upsetness" is not a word
6. Capitalize "this" after the question mark and "Of" in the last sentence
Fun Fact: I like your picture ;)
Dear Manuel,
ResponderEliminarLike Emilia does, I like that you relate what happens in Slaughterhouse-Five to your life. As the youngest of three, I welcome your position but you should also realize that your younger sister probably didn't feel as prepared as you were to react to that incident. I wonder whether you wrote this at 8:40 AM or PM?
Manuel,
ResponderEliminarAs well as Emilia and Alberto, I find it interesting that you connected he book with you personal life. I like the transition you did from the book to you response using a question, but there are some things that I would correct. In mi opinion you have a lot of summary from the book. Guessing, the summary is half of the blog, and your response is the other half. You should, talk less about the book, just talk about Mary, and make your response more profound, making it more deep.